Swedish Death Cleaning, or Getting Rid of Too Much Stuff

Wendy C. Kasten

One summer, my friend Martha finally lost her mother after an extended illness. She was the oldest of four children, and there were more than 8 grandchildren. The siblings had to get busy to empty the home where their folks had lived for the last decade or so of their life.

What an ordeal!

When they began tackling the four bedroom colonial, with a two car garage, outbuildings, attic, and basement, the siblings learned some things they didn’t really know about their folks – they were packrats. They’d saved every item of clothing they’d ever purchased, although very little of it still fit. They’d saved every canceled check and bank statement, and tax returns going back to when they got married in the early 1940’s.

Quite a few family members sacrificed their summer to clean up after this couple in their 80’s. They hadn’t done anything to make that process easier for their heirs. After children and grandchildren opted for things they wanted, it hadn’t made a dent.

A complicating factor was that as the memory failed the older couple, if they could not find things like a pair of scirssors, tape, or batteries which they knew they’d bought, they just bought more. So the family members cleaning up filled sorted cartons on the dining room table and nearly filled boxes of rolls of tape, scissors, and other common household items.

They hired one of those enormous bins normally seen on construction sites, And the company came and emptied it seven times. I think they made an attempt at a yard sale. But even after that, they hired an auction company to handle the rest and pay them some share of profits.

What we Value

Part of Swedish Death Cleaning is sorting out in these later years what MATTERS, what you VALUE, and what you NEED. Or what brings you joy. And not leaving a big mess behind.

Everything else is just stuff.

I still hear shock from folks my age that their kids and grand kids aren’t interested in stuff they thought they counted on passing down. What? They don’t want my beautiful dining room furniture? We dwell on what we paid for it, or when we got it, or where. And maybe all the family members associated with something. To us as the procurers, those things have value. To others, they do not. I gather stories from folks my age about things their parents thought were extremely valuable – which fetched about $10 in a thrift shop.

In many ways, our belongings tell the story of our lives. Our book shelves stand like trophies to all we read. But who’s reading those books now? Or are they simply colelcting dust? Taking up space?

Our furniture – some things were major purchases. Maybe we waited a long time for that special dining room set, or oriental carpet, or antiques. They mean something to us. But not necessarily to anyone else.

Here’s one I struggle with: I’ve visited over 50 countries. My home is filled with Turkish carpets, Portuguese pottery, Dutch Delft, a Swiss music box, fine art from Africa and Australia, sheepskin from New Zealand, table cloths from France, place mats from Italy, glassware from Ireland…to name a few. And what about the sweet little gifts from International students: a plate, a picture, a scarf, a decoration I don’t even know the name for. I don’t know what to do with those.

SO, if the suggestions I make in this article make it seem easy, that’s not the case. Some things are easier. And that’s where we’ll begin.

This is written to be informative specifically to people living in mid-coast Maine, but also more generally to be applicable to anyone.

Books

Lots of communities now have “Little Free Libraries,” even if they call it something else. These landmarks the size of small wall cabinets contain used books. “Take a book, leave a book” is a common sentiment on a sign. Often these gain new books year round, until they are self-sustaining as people leave books and take books regularly.

In Waldo County, Maine, these little libraries are located on Bridge Street, Wales Park, High Street, the “Commons”, at Searsport Elementary School, at East Belfast Elementary School, at the Transfer Station, at Swan Lake Grocery, on the causeway to Sears Island, and on the corner of Miller and Court. Private ones are located on Perkins Rd (2, actually) and Head of the Tide road. The Y has a book exchange cart in the lobby. Additionally, there are two in Northport, one in Liberty, one or more in Unity, one in Swanville outside Mary’s Oak Hill Barn. There may be others I don’t know about.

Many libraries and churches sponsor used book sales. You may ask around, or post the question on facebook as to what local outlets there are. Many towns have used book stories that may buy books.

Furniture, Home Goods, Tools

This is going to vary greatly by area. Ask around about thrift shops and consignment shops specializing in home goods.

First, check your area for a “Re-Store.” These are affiliated with Habitat for Humanity. Restores tkae furniture, appliances, beds, sinks, lighting fixtures, excess flooring material, carpets, appliances, windows, and doors. Additionally, odds and ends for building like electrical supplies, wire, cabinet knobs, nails, leftover lumber, hardware, tools, etc.

These establishments are generally run by volunteers, so check the website or by phone for hours and what they may or may not be accepting at any one time.

Some communities have Home Consignment Shops. You’ll only get a portion of the same. But that might be better than nothing.

In Waldo County, check out The Robin’s Nest on Route 1 in Belfast. Call ahead for hours and what days they accept merchandise.

Spring and summer are great times for yard sales. They’re lots of work, but it can move a great deal of material in a short time.

Some neighborhoods cooperate and have yard sales or garage sales all on the same date. This brings in mpore buyers – especially serious ones. Consider starting one!

Some junk shops will give you something for goods. Others operate on donations. Ask around in your area. In Waldo County, check out Mary’s Oak Hill Barn in Swanville. Her thrift shop in open weekends, but still, check with her for details. Her phone is listed on the internet.

Clothing

Many communities have stores dedicated to Children’s clothing, as well as stuff like car seats, cribs, toys, and book. In Waldo County, check out Minnows in Reny’s Plaza.

Adult women’s clothing can be consigned at Serendipity in Camden, or at SHE in Belfast. Check websites for rules, hours, and specifics about types of items they accept. Always call ahead.

High end men’s clothing can be consigned at Curate in Rockland. Check ahead on what and when they accept and their rules.

Thrift shops run by churches and charities are always an option. Donations support good causes. Generally, they are less picky about what they accept. But, of course, check the website. Heavenly Threads in Camden is one example of a large store wtih a great variety of inventory.

ThredUp is an online business that makes it easy for you to participate. Request one or more bags online, and they arrive, already addressed back to them, postage paid. Fill the big bag, or two, and drop it off at a UPS store of affiliate. They do ALL the hard work. You can get paid for items that sell, or you can request credit to shop.

Auction Houses

Have an overwhelming amount of stuff? Consider contacting an auction house. They do all the work. They give you a percentage. This is their business. They recognize things of value and price accordingly. Ask friends or post on social media that you are looking for a reputable company. Normally, you make the decision in advance about what you want done with itmes that don’t sell. For example, they may donate them to various charities.

Refugee Resettlement

If you live in a city actively engaged in refugee resettlement, there is probably an agency or volunteer organization attached. Refugees arrive with nothing and need some of everything. It may be a way to move a lot of goods and know you’re doing someone a favor contributing to those creating a new life in a strange land.

Paint

In Maine, any store that sells paint must also accept leftovers for recycling. But call ahead, in case their receptacle is full, and when they will be able to accept more. In other states, find out how paint is disposed of properly.

For paint cans with very small amounts, you can leave the can open for a few weeks, after which it’s generally acceptable to dispose it with household trash. Check locally for rules and guidelines.

Full or almost full cans might be accepted by Habitat for Humanity, especially if there’s a build in progress and that paint could cover a hallway, bathroom, closet, etc. Check with your ReStore.

Vocational Schools with carpentry projects may welcome leftover paints for student projects.

Selling On Facebook Marketplace.

Personally, I’ve had great luck selling on Facebook marketplace. And young folks looking to furnish a new home or apartment are very tied in to using Facebook.

Marketplace makes it easy. It has explicit directions how to post, add a photo, set a price, etc.

You have an opportunity to select multiple outlets, such as getting your ad to several nearby counties. I generally advertise to places within an hour drive,

I always specify cash only. I recommend it. Don’t sign up for Venmo or Zelle just because a potential buyer wants it to be convenient for them.

Facebook has trolls, That’s people who aren’t real buyers. Here’s some things to pay attention to.

1. Look at when the potential buyer joined. If they just joined, be suspicious,
2. Look and see if they have a buyer or seller rating. Everyone gets to rate everyone else at the close of a sale. It comes in handy.
3. If someone asks for your phone number right off, it’s probably a troll.
4. If someone offers you more money than you are asking, that’s suspicious. Cease communication.
5. If someone says they work abroad and they are sending the money via some other means, that’s a red flag. Cease communication.
6. Never accept a personal check, money order, or bank check (unless you can verify a local bank by phone and that person is a customer).
7. If the written communication contains English language errors, it may be an overseas scam operation.
8. I always check the box for local sales only. No messing with shipping.
9. I immediately ask a potential buyer what town they are from. They are more likely to be a real buyer, if they have local knowledge. A bit more communication about where they work, or if they are native born can give you a better sense that they are real, and genuine buyers.
10. If someone wants you to hold an item until payday, I suggest you tell them that it’s first come first serve, and encourage them to check back wtih you on payday to see if the item is still available.
11. For smaller items (a lamp, a camping cot, a camera, a tool), I use a busy parking lot as a meet up point. Say what color car you are in, maybe what color coat you wear. The lot of a CVS or Walgreens in about the right size to be busy, but not so large that you cannot find each other.
12. For larger items (a couch, bedframe, tool chest), I have the item moved in advance to the garage. I allow the buyer to come to my address, and have another adult at home with me.
13. If anything does not feel right, cancel the sale, Say you changed your mind. Remove the ad for the time being on Marketplace.
14. If you get multiple offers immediately, sift through them to determine which seem to be genuine buyers and select one to respond to.
15. You can ask questions of local law enforcement if something feels weird. They can be very helpful.

Selling on Craig’s List

Everything stated above about selling on Facebook Marketplace also applies to Craig’s List. I’ve had some great luck reaching buyers on Craig’s list too. There are designations for local sales only. I recommend sticking with local selling.

Pets

If you obtain a pet in retirement, by sure to know the expected lifespan on the pet, and hopefully one shorter than your own. It’s not responsible to get a puppy who will live fifteen years if you only live another ten. Unless of course, you have family members or friends who have pledged their support for that animal if you predecease it.

Becoming a foster parent to an animal via a local shelter is a good option for some seniors. Often, the vet bills are handled by the agency, so you only need to feed and love the animal. And there’s automatically a place for the animal to go if you’re no longer able to provide care.

Hobby Items or Collection

Maybe you spent years collecting coins, or stamps, or rocks, or something. Often you can find a buyer through related organizations. If you don’t know any, consider posting on your town’s community board on Facebook or some other site and ask around for information. The collective knowledge of the community might be just the information you need.

Concluding Remarks

The sooner you get started, the more empty space you have in your closets and your garage. And the less burden you lay on those who will clean up after you. It might put some extra cash in your pocket, too.

Check locally, but generally items you sell lower than their original price avoids any tax liability.

Have a bit of fun with all of this! It feels liberating.